then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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