I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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