i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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