i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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