Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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