Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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