So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
