Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
