can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
