i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
