its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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