Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
