Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
