so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
