I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
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His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
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I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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