I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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