So drunk its hurt
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
