Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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