erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
