I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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