NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
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Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
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He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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