Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
