yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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