Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
