Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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