I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
