There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
