sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm getting married
To pizza
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
