bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
