She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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