Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
