Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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