It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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