Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
don't judge my taste in strippers
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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