Tell her she can't have a vagina
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
