I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
