I just cut my nipple shaving
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize