so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was