Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
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How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
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She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.