Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
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he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
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Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?