I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask