singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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