he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
