Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
