In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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