Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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