I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
