idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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