Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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