whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
