He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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