If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
