Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I need a beard to bite.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
