Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize