Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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