we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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