We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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