I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
