Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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