Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize