Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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