Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
