Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
