There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
