I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
