Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
